If you dont want to be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write something worth reading or do things worth the writing. Benjamin Franklin

štvrtok 10. marca 2011

Dream... or something like that

To be honest, I never really stopped dreaming about my "precious" future, even though I know that most of the dreams won´t come true.
I can remember that when I was little I wanted to be a writer. That was in times I didn´t even know what writing was all about and I wasn´t able to write/come up with story. But I wished to be one and as stubborn as I was (well, still am), I haven´t given up so far. But what I have realized is that being an author isn´t easy. Not at all. And in this world where money matters the most... It sucks. You´re dependant on the reader´s money- that is just how it goes.
So I have given up on being a writer as a profession. Of course, I still somehow dream that one beautiful day my own book will be released... but somehow this seems like unreal future than a possible present.
Few years ago, I saw one episode of this serie called "Grey´s Anatomy". As the time went by, I started to love it. And becoming a surgeon have became a great idea in my head. Since that, I´m (most of the time) pretty sure I am going to study medicine. I love it- the blood, the function of human body, the feeling that I can help people. Okay, I hate hospitals- but working in one is not the same as being a patient, is it? And some hospitals are really nice; well, they do not stink as most of them and are actually clean. Like those one in Switzerland or Austria (yeah, private ones). But really, I know it is not about hospitals or whatever. I mean, I´d also love to travel and help with medical treatment in countries where it is needed.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah. So medicine. One of the most difficult schools. But I want it-dream about it-need it. It´s weird how it has became my obsession. I do love biology-but pretty much dislike chemistry. Not even talking about physics. But I do not care- I know that I am able to do everything for that. And sometimes when I hear people who are studying medicine talking about their school, I am confused. And scared. And everything else.
I am more artistic, but got no talent. And without talent... I don´t know, but what can I do? I love writing, taking pictures, drawing and listening to music. But I can´t play any actual instrument, can´t sing. So life´s weird. Like it is most of the time. And I also love travelling but it´s hard to do that without any money (I mean, safely- of course, I can hitchhike... but that doesn´t sound good to me)... Well, everything´s a future- but future´s also the next day. I kinda have this feeling that everytime I wake up, there´s today, but no promised tomorrow. Whatever. :)
I made a blood test today. Lol. As I said, love it.

Good night

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